Went on cruise. Got swine flu. Back from cruise. 12 hours after getting home, off to welding workshop. Learned to weld. Found out I love to weld. Back from welding workshop.
Too brain dead and sick to put anymore words together. Night.
FYI: if you need me, I’ll be in Mexico til Friday. Send carrier pigeons. And WiFi.
Have a good week, folks.
It’s hard to argue when
you won’t stop making sense
But my tongue still misbehaves and it
keeps digging my own grave with myHands open, and my eyes open
I just keep hoping
That your heart opensWhy would I sabotage
the best thing that I have
Well, it makes it easier to know
exactly what I want with my…Hands open and my eyes open
I just keep hoping
that your heart opensIt’s not as easy as willing it all to be right
Gotta be more than hoping it’s right
I wanna hear you laugh like you really mean it
Collapse into me, tired with joy
1. I’m so stressed that whenever I have to talk to anyone longer than three or four words, I start crying. Even Alan. This probably is somewhat related to #4.
2. I finally have my own space at this house. Granted, it is outside and without power but it’s relatively protected from sun and rain and I can string extension cords to it so I’ll take it. A nice place for me to do my painting and crafty stuff as well as get away from everyone else. Soon I’ll be able to throw an inflatable mattress out there and really be able to escape whenever I need which will be very nice. I don’t have problems with Alan at all – it’s just my anti-social behavior that acts up frequently. Even though I love most of these people, I need my alone time and space that I just don’t get during the day.
3. I’m almost at the point where I am going to give up full control over this impending cruise. There’s 6 days til we leave and I keep getting more and more anxious. There is too much shit going on with it that I don’t feel capable handling so I might just tell Alan that he’s in charge of it all. Goody.
4. I am now oodles of days late. I’ve peed on a stick with a negative result (*sigh of relief*) so I’m pretty sure it’s tied up with me messing with my birth control methods back in April. I’m going to double check all that when I get back in town if things haven’t started… uh, moving by that point.
5. I’m being given a bunch of succulents in the next few days. I’m excited because it seems these are the only plants I can keep alive. I just have the stress of having to put them in the ground before I leave. Oh well.
6. I am going to take part of a welding seminar the weekend Alan and I get back. I’ll be going from arriving back in San Jose around 5 (if all goes well) on Friday to leaving for Oakland for two days at 7 in the morning. Fun fun. I have to figure out which of my clothes are 100% natural fibers and which aren’t. I might have to go buy a special bra for the damn weekend. Apparently I need to wear natural fibers because if I wear synthetic and end up burning or setting myself on fire the synthetic makes it twice as bad so natural fibers it is.
7. My life is chaotic.
8. I finally get invited to hang out with people other than A and his friends and I can’t make it. Quite frankly I’m pissed off about this. I work my life around Alan and his family’s plans all the time so goddammit, figure out a way to give me three hours with people I grew up with.
9. I want to stab a bitch. Or twelve.
10. I can’t end a list on an odd number.
Life has been relatively dull for the past week and a half. Other than the twisted right knee, sprained right foot/ankle, twisted left ankle, and weak left wrist and a slight twisted right wrist that all happened at the same time. I’m mostly better from that – I still have some pain in my right foot but that just seems to be bruised bones. All of this stemmed from excessive drinking over Memorial Day weekend. In about 15 minutes, I had downed three shots of vodka, two beers, and two mixed drinks that were about a third alcohol each. I went from fine to drunk in like 5 minutes and then from drunk to passed out on the bathroom floor in another 10. It was not my finest evening. I spent all night on the bathroom floor with the whole puking thing, violent shaking from alcohol withdrawal in the morning, etc. Not fun.
Since I went overboard on the alcohol and I tend to over worry about everything, I’m now on a sober kick for six months. When A and I first discussed it, I almost started having a panic attack over the possibility of not having alcohol for that long which really shook me up. So, sober it is. Anyway.
I’ve been painting more but haven’t finished anything since my mom’s birthday present. Learning new techniques and trying out new mediums and tools which is always exciting. I’ve also decided that I’m going to attempt to start making my own bath products. I adore them but they’re so expensive and I have to toss them out if it turns out I’m allergic to them. If I make them myself, it is a whole lot more cost effective over the long run and I’ll be able to figure out what chemicals and shiz I’m allergic to. Plus, it’s something else that’ll keep me busy.
I’m waiting for the day when my tart (a gigantic tent for me to do my art in. Art tent, get it?) will be all set up in the backyard so I can go crazy with my projects and not have everyone getting high off of the fumes or splattering paint all over the walls and furniture in the house. Just gotta finish the foundation and floor (which should be done this weekend if everything works out) and then I’ll be able to set it all up and start moving things in next week. Just in time to leave it behind for our ridiculous cruise to nowhere. Gah. Stupid people and their stupid over-reactions to things like a damn mild flu.